Dressing my First Deer

The finer points of the German hunting tradition explained, and how handling deer penis lead to the worst hangover of a lifetime: part 2 of my story about hunting in the German forest, as written for Vice Munchies.

"We tear back to the farm and Sjoerd mentions that he has received a text from his friend, who is stationed in a blind a couple of fields over. According to the text, Franz Joseph is down—”a joke, obviously,” he says. Finishing a hunt in a matter of 15 minutes rarely occurs, and we can hardly believe it just happened to us. But as we drive past his hunting blind, we notice the hunter’s car is gone. Why would he leave so soon if he hadn’t shot anything? And who is Franz Joseph anyway? When we get to the farm, we pull up to the garage. Every hunter is gathered around an enormous body suspended from the ceiling. The neck and head are draped on the floor while gargantuan antlers jut out across the room. Today was Franz Joseph’s last day. ... "

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Photo by Max Muller

Photo by Max Muller